So quite a while ago i was diagnosed with hypertension - they said it's most likely hereditary, got put on some drugs, advised on lifestyle changes, yadda yadda. The doctor looked at me with a straight face and said "for a young man your age this is abnormal. If you don't take care of this now you can stroke and die at any minute soon as you walk out of that door. And if you don't take the necessary medication you may not see past three years of your life.", "Yikes!!", I thought. I wasn't necessarily heart broken about it, I understand our time here is only but borrowed, death is the natural order of life, from the moment you're born you're already dying - the concept. I get it. So the prospect of dying has never been one that frightens me. I prefer to focus more on the things that happen between me getting born and me dying. At least that i can control. That is not bound by absolute certainty as death is.
So anyway, I changed my lifestyle - at least as much as I was willing to, as much as I could. Eat healthy, exercise, watch the vices and what not. But very often I think to myself "Gosh, so much effort into keeping this shell alive I might actually forget to live if I keep this up!" And that's when it hits me - I really can't afford to not live for the sake of not dying. And here's my take: if you look hard enough, some scientist has made a convincing argument for why what you're eating will kill you. Water, food, wine, beer, whiskey, the friggin air, everything - someone out there has said it will kill you. Even the apparent healthy stuff. These bloody scientists won't make up their minds. But I really don't have time for that to be honest, I won't go around checking the labels next time i want to buy a bottle of single malt.. and damnit if i want to have some bacon, I will have some bacon! So that's my approach to it all. But before you assume this is another one of those "woe is me, i have heart problems" stories this is not. I'm hoping you can at least tell by now.
The diamond in the rough is this: how often in life do we know of people who deny themselves pleasures, opportunities, advancements (living), all in the name of some big invisible mystical caution sign (dying). For those of us who tend to take things literally, don't do so - the living-dying analogy is just symbolic of emancipation to pursue quality of life vs one of restriction. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying live on the edge, live in the fast lane etc... be as calculated as you can if that's how you naturally work. But i feel as a society we've allowed ourselves too many limitations. Expand those "calculations". We've become too damn careful about every aspect of our lives. We've become an army of uptight drones with the odd Steve Jobs type here and there who simply refuse to accept the status quo. I mean really, a lot of the things i find myself almost denying myself (outside of the ones that could potentially harm others of course) are labelled "reckless", "dangerous", "irresponsible". For example, I've taken quite some slack in my time for liking Eminem's music - believe it or not. I believe I'm very clear on the concepts of right and wrong, causality, reaping what you sow and all that, but the confines are all too tight now. Often i feel i have no room to express myself. To be who i want to be without worrying about what the next person will think. To just do what i want to do simply because I enjoy it and not worry about repercussions, even in times where there shouldn't be any. We've built a cage of unspoken societal laws, dos and donts, to jail our very nature as human beings in a lot of things we endevour in the modern world. Is it because of narrow-minded intolerance? Or shall we go all conspiracy theory about it and say it's because of our consumerism - corporations telling us what is ok and what isn't to steer us to their products? It honestly comes as no surprise that some people at some point just opt to live in the woods away from us all because they feel they have no place amongst us. It is not them who have "problems", it is us who have just allowed our minds to become too narrow. All in the pursuit of money and material things have we forgotten to take time to take stock of our existence? The things that actually make us happy, or experience at least the illusion of it - do we actively pursue them? In the times that we don't, what are the reasons? Everyone will think you're crazy? You're not "normal", "normal" people don't do that? Being the social creatures we are, have we allowed inter-social negative bonds like judgment, scorn and such occupy a space too big in our heads? Have we forgotten to live all for the sake of not dying?
Truth be told it really annoys me. I'm not trying to start a revolution or anything, I have much to learn to declare any of my thoughts revolutionary. At least i feel that way anyway. I'm just saying I won't stop living for the sake of dying. Will you? Do you even know the difference?
So anyway, I changed my lifestyle - at least as much as I was willing to, as much as I could. Eat healthy, exercise, watch the vices and what not. But very often I think to myself "Gosh, so much effort into keeping this shell alive I might actually forget to live if I keep this up!" And that's when it hits me - I really can't afford to not live for the sake of not dying. And here's my take: if you look hard enough, some scientist has made a convincing argument for why what you're eating will kill you. Water, food, wine, beer, whiskey, the friggin air, everything - someone out there has said it will kill you. Even the apparent healthy stuff. These bloody scientists won't make up their minds. But I really don't have time for that to be honest, I won't go around checking the labels next time i want to buy a bottle of single malt.. and damnit if i want to have some bacon, I will have some bacon! So that's my approach to it all. But before you assume this is another one of those "woe is me, i have heart problems" stories this is not. I'm hoping you can at least tell by now.
The diamond in the rough is this: how often in life do we know of people who deny themselves pleasures, opportunities, advancements (living), all in the name of some big invisible mystical caution sign (dying). For those of us who tend to take things literally, don't do so - the living-dying analogy is just symbolic of emancipation to pursue quality of life vs one of restriction. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying live on the edge, live in the fast lane etc... be as calculated as you can if that's how you naturally work. But i feel as a society we've allowed ourselves too many limitations. Expand those "calculations". We've become too damn careful about every aspect of our lives. We've become an army of uptight drones with the odd Steve Jobs type here and there who simply refuse to accept the status quo. I mean really, a lot of the things i find myself almost denying myself (outside of the ones that could potentially harm others of course) are labelled "reckless", "dangerous", "irresponsible". For example, I've taken quite some slack in my time for liking Eminem's music - believe it or not. I believe I'm very clear on the concepts of right and wrong, causality, reaping what you sow and all that, but the confines are all too tight now. Often i feel i have no room to express myself. To be who i want to be without worrying about what the next person will think. To just do what i want to do simply because I enjoy it and not worry about repercussions, even in times where there shouldn't be any. We've built a cage of unspoken societal laws, dos and donts, to jail our very nature as human beings in a lot of things we endevour in the modern world. Is it because of narrow-minded intolerance? Or shall we go all conspiracy theory about it and say it's because of our consumerism - corporations telling us what is ok and what isn't to steer us to their products? It honestly comes as no surprise that some people at some point just opt to live in the woods away from us all because they feel they have no place amongst us. It is not them who have "problems", it is us who have just allowed our minds to become too narrow. All in the pursuit of money and material things have we forgotten to take time to take stock of our existence? The things that actually make us happy, or experience at least the illusion of it - do we actively pursue them? In the times that we don't, what are the reasons? Everyone will think you're crazy? You're not "normal", "normal" people don't do that? Being the social creatures we are, have we allowed inter-social negative bonds like judgment, scorn and such occupy a space too big in our heads? Have we forgotten to live all for the sake of not dying?
Truth be told it really annoys me. I'm not trying to start a revolution or anything, I have much to learn to declare any of my thoughts revolutionary. At least i feel that way anyway. I'm just saying I won't stop living for the sake of dying. Will you? Do you even know the difference?
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